April 2025 Blog Prompt: Thoughts on Grief— The feeling of, the handling of.
Contributor of the prompt: *Margaret Dennis

Grief-it changes/effects us all so differently.

How do you handle grief? I do not believe that there is a book to follow, an instruction guide, a how to or perhaps even a YouTube video to show you have to grieve. We all grieve in our own way. There is no wrong or right way to do it, to go through it, to get over it.

Having experienced so much grief in my life, looking back, how in the hell did I ever manage? Sometimes one never knows or will find out how you lived through the things that you did. I personally believe that my higher power has been besides me during these difficult and challenging times. With the help of some special people that love me, not just in the good times, during the difficult times.

I find grief much like a divorce. You tend to find out whom your true people are. Some are there for just the gossip, some want to solve the problem for you, some truly and dearly love you and will grieve with you. For me, those people that grieve with you are your tribe. They are the true people to help you work through the grief.

How does grief feel? How does it look? Can you change it like you do your clothing? Again, it is different for all of us. Grief can hurt in our hearts, our souls, our minds, our bodies, it just hurts like a pain that you cannot describe. How does it look? It looks like us, looking in the mirror, searching for answers. Changing it is up to the person that is grieving. Having that tribe to help you, talk with you and that is huge if you have no idea what to do, or even if you may not realize how deep you may be into your grief.

In today’s world, we have soooo many options for grief. There are fabulous coaches, therapists, reiki healers, counselors, and local programs to help anyone seeking help. We have to look for what we need. When you find the right one, you will feel comfortable sharing and learning about your grief. It can help you to start a healing process, how you can learn to focus on the loving memories of your loved one that you may be grieving over.

For me, the subject is very dear and very sensitive as last year I lost both of my furbabies (both 15 years) one month apart. It broke me like I have never felt pain before. My world was a mess, and I was struggling in every area of my life. I was experiencing not only their deaths, rather years and years of built-up grief in my 55 years of life. With one-on-one coaching, the necessary work I needed for me, well I am happy to say that the world looks different for me today. Looking back on that year, it was tough, even more so than any divorce or parental deaths that I had been through in previous years. When you love deeply and that other person/animal loves you even more, that grief can be so deep for everyone that honors that love in their hearts.

Grief is different for all of us. Grief is a part of life. Grief is there because we are human and need to feel things. Find your tribe and be active in their world as they are in yours.